1) Know the Speed Traps: As a teenager there was basically only one in-between Forest and pretty much anywhere you would ever want to go in the "city." This allowed me to do stupid teenager things like go 85 on the road on the way back to my house when I was going to miss curfew, but still slow down on the downhill section where the cop was always staked out.
2)The "9-over rule." We humans tend to really like round numbers. Why was it crowded with hikers on Sarah and I's 14er hike last year...mainly because America never adopted the metric system and a 14er sounds cooler than a 42.67er. In the mind of a cop with a radar gun in Lynchburg, Charlottesville, or even Denver going less than 10 over never seems to get a look. Notice that I didn't mention my other primary place of driving, Northern Virginia. In NoVa, the corollary to this rule is that if traffic is actually moving, the "14-over rule" and even occasionally the "19-over rule" applies. It all depends on how fast those few people in the left lane are leaving you in the dust.
3) Respect Greene County. The one source of revenue for the Greene County police force is speeding tickets on Route 29 (for those that don't know this is one of the big counties between the University of Virginia and the Washington DC area). Cops are out on nights, weekends, holidays, and all throughout May. Most of my friends have gotten busted on this popular route at one point in their lives. The only way to avoid it is DON'T SPEED IN GREENE COUNTY.
Unfortunately, my fail-safe system all came crashing to an end when I received this bad-boy:
If you look closely at the ticket you can see my violation: going 19 in a 10. Yes, my first speeding ticket was in my parking lot at work! They have temporarily closed the back entrance to the garage that is closest to my building (it's a three buidling complex), so I have to enter through the other garage and pass by this 1/4 mile stretch with VIP parking. Are their speed-bumps you ask? No, they actually have the guards hide behind a dumpster and use a radar gun to ticket violators. They actually pull you over in the parking lot, and give you the "talk." I had to use all my will power to stifle laughing out loud at the absurdity of the whole situation. The streak is finally over, so I've added another rule: pump the brake a little the next time you pass a dumpster in a parking lot (you never know who could be hiding back there).
7 comments:
If the ticket is issued by a security guard how can it have any legal force? I mean if isn't issued by a cop, then how can it be a real ticket? What happens if you don't pay it?
You are a bad bad man. I just want you to know that in case the security guards failed to mention it.
As a side note, I have downloaded an image of the speeding ticket and taken your various tag numbers from it. This will help immensely in my ongoing attempt to steal your identity and assume your luxurious lifestyle, leaving you cold and alone. I'm sure hilarious hijinks will ensue, and if we're lucky we may both even learn the true meaning of Christmas, or at the very least land a made-for-TV movie about our lives. I'm so excited.
I failed to mention that there was no monetary value attached to the ticket...the only "threat" behind it is if you get 3 -- your parking pass is taken away. I've been more careful since then because not being able to park where you work is NOT a good thing
I didn't get past the "I'm a young 28" line. What's the rest of the post about?
I thought you were going to say speed up and aim towards the dumpsters because you never know who could hiding behind them. I like that advice better.
Yeah, I don't know if this counts as a real speeding ticket. It's more like a parking ticket that was given to you for speeding.
By the way, anyone know where I can get some car insurance???
What a coincidence I have a machine which not insuranced too!
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